and skies fall to shreds

you set a goal...and make a plan, everything just seems perfect.you talk to people about it..and your parents seem supportive.but when it's time to actually do the things ypu've dreamt of doing for so long, it never works out. disppointment.
if only anything could go right for me...i'm pathetic, trapped in my self-pity bubble. whining over the past of my mere 18 years on this Earth-whaat past? i'm only 18! but no!there's alot of it, too
i just wish i were as invisible as i felt-maybe it would've been easier. not having to measure up to their standards,to worry about not being perfect, not having to do things i never wanted to do.
i save the tears in my eyes as they build up *no, it's not time yet for you to fall*- i want to falter into loving arms, between which lies a heart of so much purity and a soul that would not judge-a mind that believes in me.
if only i could end it and not be called weak

Amazing Things

the stronger you believe in miracles,i believe, the greater the chance of them happening to you.Picture a child blowing his birthday candles, or watching a shoting star from his bedroom window and just shutting his eyes *squeeze* (the harder, the more likely their wish is to come true) as they make their naive wish.
But aren't the things adults take forgranted what matter in life?-values, principles and so on; things we teach the children without setting an example, amd forget about them in our daily, routine lives. " i wish mummy and daddy never lie to me again" , " i want the world to be beautiful"
what happened to the fairytale princess and the superhero that was once in each and every one of us...oh the impact the grown-up world has on us
come on people, embrace the child in you-Grow!
and yes, i meant not saying grow up...just grow, you were given the freedom,space and time to do that, make use of it.

i'm a confidenced VP in the making!!!!

Friday 7th of April marked a turning point in my life...
a day when i really did learn to believe in myself...thank you!!each and everyone of you, thank you!!!!
Amal,Sami, May(mabrook),Sameh and Jessica! AND MAI DAOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you guys have made not only a change, but an impact on me..i'm such a different person today than i used to be 6 months ago!
that was my "speech" my first ever so be gentle!
Paolo Coelho in his book the Alchemist wrote:
There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible: Fear of Failure.
Only now, out of experience, I believe so much in this. During the past few days, I was this close to giving up on such a life changing experience as this, I have talked to my friends about it, I was worried about not having a plan ,and not being good enough- I was basically procrastinating, one thing I'm really good at! But AIESEC taught me to believe in myself and to have a vision, my very own version of “peace and fulfillment of humankind’s potential”-I have a purpose…even if it's a vague one- not really specific. But I know one thing: once I get this position (if I do), I will make this (my mini) vision as specific and to the point as can be. I am going to put all my effort into making the LC a better one, and making an impact on at least one member, I will "pay it forward" and let me end it by this; a quote from Arthur Josephson's speech, the one he gave in last year's IPM during the PAI election
"I offer you my mind, which seeks to learn, seeks to teach… seeks to find a better way forward. I offer you my vision, an engaged, relevant and successful AIESEC- a true force for global change. And I offer you my heart, which beats with the pulse of humanity, as do each of yours."
Amal, i said it to you this morning, but i owe it to you to say it again : i'm not doing this for you but rather because of you.thank you amal, thank you EB, Thank you LC!

made my day!

Do you know that? YOU just made my day! I've never felt better in so long, all i needed was a "reassuring" phone call? aaah stupid me! maybe my mom didn't turn out to scare people off afterall!
I have a midterm tomorrow..Money and Banking..and i've only done 4 pages out of like..40!i'm such a loser...
I only wanted to blog about this so I wouldn't ever forget how happy I fel like 30 mins ago waking up to that phone call.. =) THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
so funny way to (rather late) start the day..thanks to u, thanks to Sondos!i have the greatest friends i swear!
countdown to elections: 4 days
"such fragile lives...synthetic dreams...phony romances and broken promises"

fragments

3 days- the deadline for submitting the EB application..i'm chickening out and I don't know if i should submit it.
my life has been such a mess lately. nothing is going as planned-have i planned properly?have i planned at all?
my thoughts are fragmented nothing is just in place anymore.
i need to go shopping-MY therapy...and i need therapy for my sickness