"love is watching someone die"

I was listening to "what Sarah said" by Deathcab for Cutie as I sit here waiting for the Fagr Athan...and the song went "love is watching someone die....so who's gonna watch you die" and it got me thinking, is that what all love is about? watching someone die?
But then, as you watch someone you've been in love with all your life, and watch the memories infront of your eyes; every touch, every kiss, every hug, every smile, every kid, every laugh. Remembering noticing their hair going greyer, the wrinkles on their face, the comfort you'd give them- telling them you love them more with ever line forming on the prettiest face you've ever seen. Every meal you eat together, every picture you've taken and every time you wrote about them in your journal. How could someone stand watching all that slipping away? Or is it that they're going to live in your heart that keeps you going?
I've watched my grandfather die- it's different with family but just as bad. Watching part of your life going into a grave...watching an idol to you go to the unknown place. I don't know what I would do without my parents, my grandmother and...all the family i love.
I want to die young, so I wouldn't live through losing any of them to death.
But no, I want a whole long life ahead of me to live with the only person I felt like he would be the perfect father to my children...and the perfect husband to me.
For once in my life, I'm sure about something, I know he's my perfect compliment, I know I want to be with him forever...I hope I'm not saying too much, but this is how I feel.
So, it's sort of a conflict I'm facing here...i want to live a long life...to make memories with a man, yet, I want to die young, so as not to suffer the pain of loss.
Reading that over, I think that's selfish of me- wanting others who love me to suffer instead of my suffering...
But think of it, what would you want?

a mess

I've had the window open for the past hour?
I don't know what to write about, seriously
my life has been a mess.

a mess

I've had the window open for the past hour?
I don't know what to write about, seriously
my life has been a mess.

Ramadan Kareem

it's the first day of Ramadan!

and I'm taking this as an opportunity to rediscover myself. to find who i really am since shaytan is shackled for the whole month. any bas i do, comes from within me,and every good i do as well.

so here, some verses from the Quran.

ramadan kareem everyone!!

The world can be one ugly big thing...or a million beautiful details

create your own visited country map
only 3% of the world. thanks to Luli for the link.
I think I'm falling for someone.
I think I'm quitting AIESEC.

a must read!

i got this off www.manalaa.net

The American motherfuckers have to understand that they are not welcomed in our country if they still support their right-winged Christian driven government and their unconditional support for Israeli genocides against our people…they think they can come to our country, enjoy and do as they please....although we are treated at their customs as criminals who have to be subjected to a fingerprint and a photograph ID to be kept for a record check…I say we call for similar treatment. We won’t loose a lot if the fuck’n American tourists stop coming to Egypt. Here is a story about little bitch-slapping of Americans who come to Cairo…make sure you embarrass the ones you meet on your land….they get agitated if you start talking directly talking about “The Great crusade that god ordered Bush to call for or about Islam or Muhammad”….make it a smooth bitch-slap with not much religious confrontation…they know it’s a hidden war on Islam.. U don’t need to press it hard…you don’t know their real alignment…..just tease them a little
BITCH SLAPPING AMERICA
I was once on a plane (a Lufthansa flight from Cairo to Frankfurt) beside an American woman when she started talking about the metal knife they offered us to eat our meal and how the safety precautions on the American airlines imply all knifes should be made of plastic...anyway...I asked her what is she doing in Cairo?. she replied that she was interested in ancient Egyptian civilization and how the our country and people were nice...I couldn't resist to twist the talk a little bit just to tease the bitch...and asked her: which pharaoh do u like the most? she: Ikhnatonme: Ah...he is the first pharaoh to called for monotheismshe: yesme: do u know that some people believe that he might have been a messenger?she: yes. He might have been oneme: U know...I think many messengers have been sent to different areas of the world...do U know Muhammad?she (anxiously): yes...Muhammad the founder of Islamme (changing the subject and playing around): U know.. I even think that Buddha was a messenger. I used to think that the religions of the far-east were so strayed from our common core...but my Uncle once told me “no. you shouldn't...probably Buddha calling for his values was a messenger of a kind :-)”she (relaxed a bit): yes. may beme: would u ask me which pharaoh I favoured most?she: yes me: Ramses 2 ...people say that he is the pharaoh of the Exodus but it is not very certain...she agrees and starts to get interested.me again (setting the trap): I think that I like him because he manifests "the power and wrath" of old Egypt...that's what today’s world is all about.. "Power and wrath"....U know...the Quran has never mentioned him by the name. He was supposed to remain a mystery...so as not to glorify the name of tyrants who persecuted old Jews.
she(very interested): yes…I was looking at some relics in the Egyptian Museum and I found some of very old remains of a Jewish tribe that once lived in Egypt.
me (annoyed and decided to give her a hidden bitch-slap): you mean Jews in Egypt? They once had two kingdoms in the location of Israel now...she nods head (the bitch slut)...I continued but in Egypt….mmm…I doubt...they were mostly slaves who came with Joseph.
She recognized the hidden slap, got a little annoyed and I was satisfied and shifted the conversation. We all know the historical lies that Jews advocate to claim the lands of Palestine (that they one lived on this land 1000000 years ago)....7abibi..this can include Egypt too…mesh 3ado 3aleha zaman men ad zobromeet sana keda…
REPLY!!

Your comments would have been much more profound without all the profanity. America (led now by a group of very dangerous individuals often referred to as the neoconservatives) and Israel are not at fault here; they do and will continue on doing whatever to destroy the spirit, culture and lands of Islam and they are succeeding thus far (your profanity is vivid example of their success in shaping the way we think and act). Moreover, they are not the real and present enemy and therefore your anger should not be with them. The danger lies in us, people and government, and our lack of any desire to sacrifice everything to see this country great again. Let us face it, Egypt is at the lowest ebb of its great and extended history. I dare and say that Egypt has never been in such a dismal state of affair. Corruption every where -- the young have nothing on their minds but sex, drugs, soccer and, of course, finding a way out of the country. As for the old, soap operas and musical video clips seem to entertain them just fine. The problem is that what we all care about it is to live … irregardless of whether we live in degradation (as currently) or with honor.
Those that do fight back use strategies bound to failure. What good is it to demonstrate and yell, shout and get beating by Mubarak’s ‘occupation forces’ and then go home without having accomplished anything but a hollow sense of self achievement that neither helps nor harms. The tactics should be changed and adapted to the current sociopolitical enviroment.
I have not lived in Egypt for quite sometime now and also do not have a political education to know what course of action is suited. However, I am certain that Egypt has a wealth of smart and highly educated individuals who can ascertain means to make their peaceful resistance more effective.
Please note finally, that America’s foreign policy in the region is not dictated solely by the neocons’ hatred of Islam and Arabs or by guaranteeing Israel’s supremacy in the region. It is mainly shaped by us, the people of the Middle East and most importantly by Egyptians (given Egypt previous and long gone importance in the region). The main premise of their foreign policy rests on the fact that the Egyptian populace will do nothing and will continue on slumbering as they have been for the past three decades. If the US felt that the regime of its greatest ally and puppet Mubarak is in danger of losing its grip, their cards will have to be rearranged and a new hand will have to be dealt.

I personally love the reply, very constructive!

which option?

so i've been thinking and i sort of "came up" with these two scenarios:
1.USA/Isreal are doing this to make the ME/Arabs fall into dispute i.e perfect excuse for intervention
2.Lebenese refugees flee to Syria, Syria is not economically/financially stable enough to support the refugees..and the UN intervenes and won't be able to do anything about it, so SUPER-USA saves the day.But Iram won't let them and BAM! the US dream come true! war with Iran they're in Iran they have the OIL! then Jordan and Egypt might come next afterwards..
Pretty vague i know..
But what do you guys think?

hating the hate

from a lebanese/palestinian point of view i think it's different..all the respect they have to Nasrallah...all the respect ARABS have to nasrallah...and how he's not being as "cowardly" as the rest of arab leaders.
but from my point of view, all he has done was kill innocent lebenese people in an indirect way, even if lebanon doesnt have a strong enough army to defend itself..
Israel is just too powerful, the kill and kill, the make it seem like just some simple,random act..like killing bugs " oh so this country here is bugging us, why don't we just bomb it..a nuclear weapon or two"
I HATE THIS...I HATE THIS!I HATE THIS!!!!
i hate the slaughtering..